Afraid of getting married? Avoid 10 Costly Mistakes That Cause Headaches in Most Marriages

            Imagine yourself experiencing the kind of marriage where you are appreciated, treated with respect and love, and where you are understood and prioritized. Close your eyes and see yourself getting excited to lie side by side with your partner in your master bedroom gisting about your day. You can experience these marriage realities if you can avoid some mistakes most people do while going into marriage. These common mistakes are described below: 

1. Don't rush to marry. If you rush into a marriage, be ready for the surprise of your life. When you rush into marrying someone, you will not be able to properly know the character or behaviors of the person you are marrying. You may be surprised to find out that your partner is a liar, drunker, smoker, partygoer, or lazy person after marriage. Save yourself from this trouble by taking your time to understand your potential wife or husband-to-be before you get married.

2. People don't change in marriage. Please don't marry someone you don't like his or her character. Never marry someone thinking that he or she will change after marriage. The truth is that people often don't change their character after marriage. This means that an angry person, a liar, a smoker, a lazy, a drunker, or a disorganized person before marriage often maintains their character after marriage. If you dislike or are always annoyed by the behaviors of your partner-to-be, it is better you don't marry the person to save yourself from an unending annoyance in marriage. 

3. Don't marry an unfriendly person. Don't marry an unfriendly person. If you always beg for the friendship or attention of the person you want to marry, you would ultimately beg for the friendship of the person after marriage if you happen to marry the person. To save yourself from this trouble, please marry someone that is naturally friendly, gives attention, or is attracted to you. 

4. Don't marry someone who doesn't freely speak to you. Don't marry someone if you have to pressurize him or her before speaking or dialoguing with you, or someone who gets angry every time you ask questions about his or her actions or whereabouts. This is a sign that the person may be keeping secrets from you, he or she is not really interested in you but in what you have, and he or she would keep things from you after you married. You might end up looking for someone else to talk with after you get married to such a person.

5. Don't marry a person with a superior or inferior lifestyle to yours. Don't marry someone with primitive ways, different social lifestyles, or mindsets to yours. If you love someone but the person's ways of thinking or doing things are better or inferior to yours, except you are willing to adapt to that way of thinking or lifestyle don't marry the person. The person may never change his or her ways of life or thinking after marriage, and you may end up hating yourself, feeling superior or inferior, or getting angry at your partner's behaviors every time. 

6. Don't marry a rich person if you are poor or a poor person if you are rich. Don't marry a poor person if you're rich. Don't marry a rich person if you are poor. Most times it is people's habits or their ways of life that make them poor or rich. If you are a rich person and you end up marrying a poor person, that may mean you have married someone with a poor way of life. Since people hardly change in marriage, this may make you continue to be irritated or always feel angry at the person you marry. The same goes for a poor person that married a rich person. The poor person will never understand why the rich partner does many things that he or she does. And the poor partner may feel abandoned or criticized by the rich partner.  

7. Don't marry an educated person if you don't want to be educated. Don't marry an educated person if you're not willing and ready to learn from your partner, or enroll in school to upgrade your education. The level of education of people often affects the ways they see and interpret things around them. When an educated person married a lowly educated or uneducated person, both partners may see things differently and argue a lot except they are willing to compromise their stands. 

8. Don't marry a city or village (country) person if you are not ready to adapt to the person's lifestyle. It is difficult for someone who has lived in the city or village all or most of their life to adapt or change their lifestyles or behaviors from a village lifestyle to that of a city lifestyle or vice versa. When such people (with opposites lifestyles) married each other, they may continue to strive against each other's lifestyles when they started living together under the same roof. 

9. Don't marry a hygienic person if you have a low standard for being clean. Cleanliness is a very sensitive topic for some people in certain professions like medical doctors, microbiologists, environmentalists, or health practitioners who understand how many unseen microorganisms or pollutants that accumulate in a dirty place can cause diseases and make people sick. If a person who doesn't fancy hygiene marries a clean person, except the person is ready to adapt, it may result in unnecessary headaches after marriage. 

10. Don't marry a disorganized person if you are organized. Falling in love is easy, but staying in love may be very difficult, especially when you are organized but you married a disorganized person without good character. Some people don't care about how things lie down everywhere in their house, whereas for an organized person, it is very important that things are sorted out and tidied up in their places. When a disorganized person that is not willing to adapt or change their ways married an organized individual, the organized person may become wearied from having to always return things to their original places after the disorganized partner had disorganized things. The disorganized partner might become feel critical following recurrent corrections or criticisms from the organized partner. 

Conclusion. There is no perfect marriage. A perfect marriage consists of two imperfect persons (a man and a woman) who have agreed to marry each other and live together for life with love, care, and respect. However, extreme differences between a man and woman that are not critically addressed before marriage are what result in issues that ultimately dissolve many marriages today. By critically considering the insights shared in this article, young persons aspiring to marry can avoid or reduce the possibilities of such marriage-dissolving issues to enjoy their desired marriage.