First week checklists for new graduate students


 Congratulations on landing your first research assistantship! As you embark on this exciting journey, it's essential to lay the groundwork for a successful first semester. To help you navigate this new chapter with ease, here are five straightforward steps to follow:

 1. Sign Electronic GA Terms and Conditions Letter:

Once you've received your research assistantship offer, the first order of business is to sign the electronic terms and conditions letter. This step solidifies your commitment and ensures that you're aligned with the expectations of your role.

 2. Complete I-9 Employment Eligibility Verification

As an employee, you'll need to complete the I-9 form to verify your eligibility to work in the U.S. Gather the necessary documents and fill out the form promptly to avoid any delays in starting your position.

 3. Enroll in Direct Deposit:

Make managing your finances hassle-free by enrolling in direct deposit for your monthly stipend. Say goodbye to paper checks and hello to convenient, timely payments straight into your bank account.

 4. Consider Payroll Deduction for Fees (Optional)

Many universities offer the option for payroll deduction to cover fees associated with your program. Take advantage of this if available, as it streamlines the process by automatically deducting fees from your stipend, allowing you to focus on your research.

 5. Attend New Teaching Assistantship Workshop:

If you're also taking on a teaching assistantship role, attending the new TA workshop is highly recommended. Gain valuable insights, learn effective teaching strategies, and connect with fellow TAs as you prepare to excel in your teaching responsibilities.

By following these five essential steps, you'll set yourself up for a smooth transition into your role as a graduate research assistant. Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and with careful planning and preparation, you'll thrive in your academic pursuits. Best of luck in your first semester as a graduate research assistant!

4 Tips for Finding the Right Grad School Advisor

Pursuing a Ph.D. is a pivotal step that demands dedication, and the choice of advisor is paramount to your triumph. Your mentor will steer your research and mold your scholarly and career development. The right advisor can elevate your doctoral experience and future prospects, while the wrong one can derail your journey. It’s not uncommon for students to leave their programs or switch advisors due to a poor match. Therefore, selecting the ideal advisor is crucial for a successful Ph.D. endeavor. In this article, I will explain 4 key steps to find a suitable advisor for your PhD.

 1. Identify your research interests

Start by clarifying your research interests. This will help you target advisors who are experts in your chosen field. Examine your academic background and any research experience you had. Also look into your career interests and the kind of interests and passion you have in terms of why you want to enroll in graduate school. Then review the publications and current projects of the potential advisors you are considering. Ensure that they are in alignment with your goals. Only choose a professor only if his or her research programs are similar to your research interests.

 2. Consider compatibility

You should find an advisor whose mentorship style complements the manner in which you learn. This is important because you need an advisor who can provide the right support and guidance to help you reach your learning objectives. A compatible mentor can also help to foster a positive and productive learning environment. For instance, if you are an introvert, you should find an advisor who is patient and understanding, and who is willing to take the time to get to know you and your goals. Ask for feedback from current or former students to understand the advisor's approach to guidance and support.

 3. Evaluate their network

A well-connected advisor can open doors to collaborations, conferences, and job opportunities. Having an advisor who has a broad network of contacts and is well connected within the industry can be beneficial in providing access to resources that may not be available to the general public. This can help you gain access to job opportunities, internships, funding, and other valuable resources. Investigate their professional network and consider how it could benefit your future career.

 4. Assess their availability

The availability of your advisor is imperative. Find out their expectations with regards to meeting frequency and communication frequency with his or her students. Be sure that he or she will be able to provide you with the level of engagement that you require. For example, if you need regular check-ins to track your progress, make sure your advisor is available to meet at least once per week.

By following these steps, you’ll be well on your way to selecting an advisor who will be a valuable ally throughout your Ph.D. journey. Remember, the relationship with your Ph.D. advisor is a professional partnership that will influence your academic trajectory. So, choose wisely to set the stage for a rewarding doctoral experience.

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5 Benefits of Having a Professional LinkedIn Profile

Are you a college student or a recent graduate who wants to kickstart your career? Do you want to connect with the best people in your industry, impress potential employers, and discover exciting opportunities? If you answered yes, then you need a professional LinkedIn profile.

A professional LinkedIn profile is more than just an online resume. It’s your personal brand, your digital identity, and your ticket to success. Here’s why:

1. You can network with the right people.

LinkedIn is the ultimate platform for professional networking. You can connect with industry experts, potential employers, alumni, and peers who share your interests and goals. You never know who might offer you an internship, a mentorship, or a job.

2. You can showcase your skills and achievements. 

Your LinkedIn profile is your portfolio of excellence. You can highlight your academic accomplishments, projects, extracurricular activities, and any relevant skills. You can also upload documents, presentations, and articles to demonstrate your work and showcase your capabilities.

3. You can make a positive first impression. 

When you apply for a job or an internship, chances are the recruiter will look you up on LinkedIn. What will they see? A professional photo, a catchy headline, and a captivating summary that tells your story and showcases your aspirations. A well-crafted profile can make you stand out from the crowd and leave a lasting impact.

4. You can discover job and internship opportunities. 

Why waste time on job boards when you can have employers come to you? By having a robust profile, you can increase your visibility and attract recruiters who are looking for candidates like you. You can also browse through thousands of job and internship listings that match your skills, interests, and experiences.

5. You can engage with industry insights.

LinkedIn is more than just a platform to showcase yourself; it’s also a source of valuable information and trends. You can follow companies, influencers, and organizations in your field to stay updated on the latest news and developments. You can also engage with relevant content and participate in discussions to show your genuine interest and commitment to your industry.


A great example of a professional LinkedIn profile

Let's imagine a recent psychology graduate, let call her Jane Smith. She wants to become a counselor. Let use Jane’s profile as a perfect example of how to use LinkedIn to advantage. Her profile picture is professional and friendly, and her headline summarizes her expertise and goals:

“Recent Psychology Graduate | Aspiring Counselor | Research Enthusiast.”

Her summary reveals her passion for research and advocacy for mental health and her experience in conducting research projects during her college years. Jane doesnot just list her academic achievements; she also emphasizes her communication skills, problem-solving abilities, and data analysis proficiency.

Jane is an active user of LinkedIn. She follows influential professionals in her field and engages with articles and posts related to psychology and mental health. She also connects with professors, classmates, and professionals she met at networking events.

Jane’s profile is a powerful tool that helps her build her network, showcase her skills, and discover opportunities.

Are you ready to create your own professional LinkedIn profile? Don’t wait any longer. This is your chance to shape your professional journey and achieve your career goals. Create your profile today and unlock a world of opportunities!"k a world of opportunities!

Friendliness: A Simple Key to a Fulfilling Life

Life is like flying. When birds fly from the ground to the sky, the height they can reach will depend on strength and support of their wings. Similarly, our success in life depends on our support systems, which are not made with feathers, but with people. People who care for us make up our wings. Being friendly can equip us with strong “wings” that helps us soar higher, while being unfriendly could make us fall without any support. Let's see the importance of friendliness.


1. Building Bridges, Not Walls:

Friendliness is the bridge that connects people. In life, success often comes through collaborations and opportunities that arise from positive connections. By being friendly, we build bridges that lead us to new horizons. For example, imagine in a workplace, a friendly attitude could open doors to collaboration, making projects smoother and more enjoyable.

 

2. Networking Magic:

It is said that success is not just about what you know but also who you know. Friendliness is the magic wand that turns associates into friends, creating a network of support and opportunities. For instance, think about how a friendly conversation at a networking event can lead to unexpected job offers or business partnerships.

 

3. Emotional Resilience:

Life has its ups and downs, and friendly people tend to have a support system to cushion the falls. Friendliness cultivates a positive environment that helps in navigating challenges. For example, when facing a tough time, having friends to lean on can make the journey a little less daunting.

 

4. Team Player Advantage:

Success often involves teamwork, and being friendly is the glue that holds a team together. It fosters a cooperative spirit that propels everyone toward shared goals. As an example, in sports, a friendly team tends to perform better as they understand each other's strengths and weaknesses.

 

5. Opportunities Everywhere:

Being friendly opens the door to unexpected opportunities. People are more likely to share information, advice, and opportunities with those they consider friendly and approachable. Example of this is a friendly conversation at a local event that could lead to discovering a new job opening or a chance to showcase your skills.

Conclusion:

In the grand journey of life, friendliness is the wind beneath our wings. It transforms challenges into stepping stones and acquaintances into lifelong friends. So, let's soar high by embracing the simple yet powerful trait of friendliness. After all, in the friendly skies of life, success becomes a smooth and joyous flight.

Understanding Trauma and Its Impact on Kids

Trauma is a word that carries a weight of experiences, especially when it affects the most vulnerable members of our society – young children. While they may not have the words to express their feelings, the effects of trauma can be profound and lasting. In this blog, we'll explore what trauma means for young kids and how it can impact their lives.

 

What is Trauma?

Trauma refers to a deeply distressing event or series of events that overwhelm a person's ability to cope. For children, trauma can result from various experiences, including physical or emotional abuse, neglect, accidents, witnessing violence, loss of a loved one, or even sudden changes in their environment.


 Effects of Trauma on Young Kids

 1. Emotional Responses: Trauma can trigger a range of emotions in young children, such as fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, and confusion. They may struggle to understand or express these emotions, leading to behavioral changes.

 2. Physical Symptoms: Some children may experience physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue as a response to the emotional stress caused by trauma.

3. Behavioral Changes: Trauma can manifest in behavioral changes such as withdrawal, aggression, regression (returning to behaviors typical of a younger age), or difficulty in concentrating.

 4. Attachment Issues: Young children may develop difficulties in forming secure attachments with caregivers due to trust issues resulting from traumatic experiences.

 5. Developmental Delays: Trauma can interfere with a child's cognitive and emotional development, potentially causing delays in reaching developmental milestones.

 6. Sleep Disturbances: Nightmares, night terrors, and difficulty falling or staying asleep are common consequences of trauma.

 

Coping and Support

Support is crucial for helping young children cope with trauma and its effects. Here's how caregivers, parents, and educators can provide assistance:

1. Create a Safe Environment: A sense of safety is essential. Provide a stable and secure environment where the child feels protected.

 2. Open Communication: Encourage children to express their feelings and thoughts, even if they can't put them into words. Listen without judgment and validate their emotions.

 3. Professional Help: Consider seeking the assistance of child psychologists or therapists who specialize in trauma. Professional guidance can help children process their emotions in a healthy manner.

 4. Routine and Consistency: Establishing routines and consistent daily activities can offer a sense of stability, which is particularly important for children who have experienced trauma.

 5. Play Therapy: Play is a child's natural way of expressing themselves. Play therapy can help children work through their feelings and experiences in a non-threatening environment.


Overall, understanding trauma and its impact on young children is crucial for providing them with the support they need. By recognizing the signs and effects of trauma, creating a safe and nurturing environment, and seeking appropriate help, caregivers and educators can help young children navigate their emotions and experiences, paving the way for healing and growth.

 

Persistence - A Powerful Law Of Success

If you are looking for a force that has shaped the course of history, transformed dreams into realities, and turned failures into triumphs. It is none other than the force of persistence! 

Persistence is an unwavering commitment to keep moving forward despite challenges, setbacks, and obstacles.

Think about the great innovators, the visionaries who have sculpted our world with their ideas. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, faced countless failures before his breakthrough. He once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Edison's unyielding determination turned darkness into light, not just literally, but metaphorically as well.

Consider the tales of athletes who have defied all odds. Michael Jordan, often celebrated as one of the greatest basketball players, was once cut from his high school team. Yet, his persistence propelled him to become a legend, reminding us that setbacks are just stepping stones toward success.

And let's not forget the journeys of countless ordinary individuals who have transformed into extraordinary leaders. Their stories share a common thread – the choice to persist when faced with doubt, rejection, and uncertainty.

Persistence isn't about avoiding failure; it's about embracing it and learning from it. It's about rising each time we fall, with renewed vigor and wisdom. It's the belief that every stumbling block is an opportunity for growth, and every closed door is a path to a better one.

When you encounter challenges, remember that the darkest hour often comes just before dawn. It's during those tough moments that your persistence is tested and your character forged. Hold your head high, keep your vision clear, and press forward with the knowledge that success is a journey, not a destination.

Let the stories of those who've persisted against all odds fuel your determination. Embrace failure not as a defeat, but as a stepping stone to greatness. As the saying goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." Be the embodiment of that spirit.

So, as you walk the path of your ambitions, remember that persistence is your greatest ally. Let it empower you, guide you, and propel you towards the heights you aspire to reach. With persistence, the impossible becomes possible, the unimaginable becomes achievable, and your dreams become your reality.

A-1 Student: Mastering the Path to a High CGPA

As an undergraduate college student, achieving a high Cumulative Grade Point Average (CGPA) opens doors to a world of opportunities. It not only reflects your dedication to academic excellence but also positions you for future success. In this article, we will explore proven strategies and practical tips to help y
ou maximize your potential and attain that coveted high CGPA.

1. Set clear goals

Setting clear and specific GPA targets for each semester provides you with a roadmap for success. Break down your long-term goals into manageable short-term objectives, and develop a study plan that aligns with these targets. With clear goals in place, you'll stay focused and motivated throughout your academic journey.

2. Master time management

Effective time management is the key to balancing your academic workload and personal commitments. Create a weekly schedule that includes dedicated study time, and prioritize your tasks accordingly. By avoiding procrastination and using proven productivity techniques, such as the Pomodoro Technique, you can optimize your study sessions and achieve more in less time.

3. Attend classes regularly

Attending classes consistently is a fundamental aspect of achieving a high CGPA. Actively participate in discussions, take comprehensive notes, and engage with the course material. By being present and involved, you'll gain a deeper understanding of the subject matter and establish a strong foundation for success.

4. Cultivate effective study habits

Developing effective study habits is a game-changer when it comes to academic performance. Find a study environment that suits your concentration and learning style, and utilize active learning techniques such as summarizing, concept mapping, and teaching others. Regularly reviewing and revising your notes will reinforce your understanding and retention of the material.

5. Utilize available resources

Take advantage of the wealth of resources available to you. Seek academic support services such as tutoring or study groups, and tap into online resources, textbooks, and supplementary materials. Additionally, establish a rapport with professors or teaching assistants who can offer guidance and clarification when needed.

6. Seek clarification

Never hesitate to ask questions. Whether in class or during office hours, seeking clarification is a proactive step towards mastering the material. Form study groups with classmates to engage in collaborative learning and benefit from collective knowledge. Online forums and platforms can also serve as valuable resources for connecting with fellow students and finding answers to challenging concepts.

7. Practice effective note-taking

Develop a system for taking organized and detailed lecture notes. Highlight key concepts and important details to facilitate later review. Rewriting and summarizing your notes in your own words will enhance your comprehension and retention of the material.

8. Prepare thoroughly for exams

Exams are a crucial component of your academic journey. Create a study schedule leading up to exams, practice with past exams or sample questions, and review course material thoroughly, paying special attention to areas of weakness. By preparing well, you'll enter the exam room with confidence and maximize your chances of success.

9. Balance academics and well-being

While academic pursuits are important, maintaining a healthy work-life balance is equally crucial. Prioritize self-care by taking breaks, engaging in physical exercise, and ensuring sufficient sleep. Seek emotional support from friends, family, or counseling services when necessary. By prioritizing your well-being, you'll enhance your overall academic performance.

10. Build effective relationships

Networking is a powerful tool that can positively impact your academic journey. Connect with professors, classmates, and alumni to expand your knowledge and opportunities. Engage in extracurricular activities to develop interpersonal skills and foster meaningful relationships. Collaborating with classmates on projects and assignments can also enhance your learning experience.

11. Stay motivated

Maintaining motivation throughout your academic journey is essential. Remind yourself of the long-term benefits that a high CGPA can bring. Celebrate small achievements and milestones along the way to stay inspired. Finally, connect your studies to your passions and future goals, finding intrinsic motivation that will drive you towards academic excellence.

12. Manage stress and overwhelm

College life can be demanding, but managing stress and overwhelm is vital. Break tasks into manageable chunks, practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation, and seek support from mentors, counselors, or support groups. By effectively managing stress, you'll maintain a clear mind and perform at your best.

Conclusion

Achieving a high CGPA as an undergraduate college student requires dedication, discipline, and strategic planning. By setting clear goals, mastering time management, attending classes regularly, cultivating effective study habits, utilizing available resources, and seeking clarification when needed, you'll be well on your way to academic success. Remember to prioritize your well-being, build relationships, stay motivated, and manage stress effectively. Your high CGPA will not only open doors to future opportunities but also reflect your commitment to personal growth and excellence. Unlock your potential and embark on the path to academic greatness today!

 

Experience Matters: Finding the Right Motivation

When it comes to achieving success in your career or field, it is wise to seek guidance from those who have walked the same path as you. Motivational workers, who have real-world experience in your field, are the best sources of motivation and advice. Those people can provide insights from their own personal experiences, the challenges they faced, and the opportunities they took advantage of in order to make their way to the top of their field.

In addition to helping you understand the intricacies of your industry, motivational workers can provide you with practical advice relevant to your unique circumstances, so that you can better understand how the industry works. It is their passion to provide valuable insights into how to overcome the challenges you are facing. They understand the challenges you face in such depth.

On the other hand, motivational speakers who do not have direct experience in your field may not be the best source of motivation or advice for you. If you listen to such speakers, you may be confused, or even worse, you may receive misinformation that can hinder your success. If you listen to them, you could end up getting confused, or even worse, you might end up receiving misinformation that can be detrimental to your career.

For example, a motivational speaker who has never worked in the medical field may not completely understand the challenges and opportunities a medical professional faces. There is the possibility that they will offer advice that is not practical or harms those working in medicine. As the famous American actor Matthew McConaughey once wrote: “The best advice comes from people who don't give advice.”

Furthermore, motivational speakers sometimes exaggerate their achievements or downplay the effort required to succeed. This can create unrealistic expectations that may lead to disappointment or even failure. In contrast, motivational workers provide real-world examples of success, demonstrating that success requires hard work, dedication, and commitment.

In conclusion, seeking guidance from motivational workers who have real-world experience in your field is essential to achieving success. They provide practical advice that is relevant to your unique situation, and their insights can help you overcome the challenges that you are facing. So, choose wisely and seek guidance from those who have walked the same path as you.

How to Be an Entrepreneur: A Quick Guide

An entrepreneur is a person who starts and runs a business venture, taking on financial and personal risks to succeed. Being an entrepreneur has many benefits, such as turning your passion into a business like Steve Jobs, creating wealth like Elon Musk, becoming your own boss like Richard Branson, making a difference in the world like Bill Gates, or achieving personal growth like the founder of FUBU.

The following are simple of practical steps you can take if you decide to become an entrepreneur and live your dream.

1.     Identify a business opportunity or a need in the market: Look for a gap in the market or a problem that needs solving. An example of this could be a new product or service or a better way to do something. For instance, you may notice that customers are looking for a specific type of product that doesn't exist yet and you could create it to meet that need.

2.     Develop a business plan: Outline your business idea, goals, target market, competition, marketing strategies, financial projections, and any other important information. For instance, a business plan should include a detailed description of the services to be offered, the target market, a detailed budget, and a timeline of when key milestones should be achieved.

3.     Conduct market research: Learn about your target market, competitors, and industry trends so you can determine your business idea's feasibility and opportunities. For example, research the prices of similar products or services, customer needs and preferences, and the latest industry trends so you can develop a competitive advantage.

4.     Get funding: Determine how much money you need to start your business and explore funding options, like loans, grants, and investors. Once you know the amount of funds needed to launch your business, you can begin to develop a plan to acquire them. For instance, if you need to raise money from investors, you may need to develop a business plan and present it to potential investors.

5.     Register your business: To create a successful business, you need to establish a legal structure and register your company with the appropriate government agency. This will depend on where you are located and what type of business you intend to create. By registering your business, you can ensure you have the proper legal protection and establish a sound foundation for future success.

6.     Develop a brand and marketing strategy: Establish your brand identity and develop a marketing strategy for promoting your products. Having a clear idea of the target audience and a detailed plan for how you will reach them is essential for success. It is also important to create a website and establish a presence on social media, as this will help to increase visibility and build relationships with potential customers.

7.     Launch your business: Start operating your business, continuously monitor your progress and make adjustments as needed. As you keep operating your business, tracking your progress, and making necessary adjustments, and you will be able to launch your business successfully.

8.    Learn and adapt: To succeed as an entrepreneur, you have to be constantly learning and adapting to changes in the market, your industry, and your business environment. Find ways to improve your business operations by getting feedback from customers, employees, and other stakeholders. For instance, you could create a survey to ask your customers what they would like to see improved in your products or services and use the feedback to create a plan for implementing changes.

To sum it up, to become a successful entrepreneur, you must have a clear plan for acquiring the necessary funding, registering your business, developing a brand and marketing strategy, and launching and operating your business. Additionally, you should seek feedback from customers, employees, and other stakeholders to continuously improve your operations.

3 Easy Ways to Quickly Identify Your 2023 Goals

Do you often find it difficult to identify what goals to set for yourself at the beginning of the year? Do you often feel there are so many things you want but don't know which among them to set as goals?  Does this sound like you? If yes, continue to read this article, and your confusion will be all gone by the time you finished reading, and you will be able to easily identify and set your year goals.

Here's the easy trick. Yes, you have many things you can achieve in the year. But each of them belongs to a different category of needs or wants. The trick is that you should first identify the category each item belongs. Then you will be able to identify whether the item is a real goal or not. 

There are three categories of goals we can have: 
  1. Things that you need.
  2. Things that you deserve
  3. Things that you desire or want. 
I have further explained each category below: 

1. Things that you need. Your needs are things that you really need to have this year. They are things that you need to function well, stay alive, maintain your position, or keep you moving forward. These are the things that should be your most important goals this new year. 

For example, your needs may be to get a job, get to work early, be more productive at work, be more kind or friendly to people, get married, visit a family member, visit the gym, have a mentor, write an exam, write a book, read a book, or it may be any other thing that you need to do to stay alive, function well, or maintain your progress this year. 

If you fail to achieve these needs it may cost you your life, health, relationship, and jobs, or affect your progress in an area of your life. So, you need to identify these needs and set them as your primary goals for the new year. 

2. Things that you deserve.  These are things you need to have or accomplish by the reason of your age, efforts, or level of education. For example, at a certain age, you deserve to get married, have your own family, or own a house. Also, if you have a certain level of education or training, you may deserve to have some type of job position, promotion, a raise at work, or a certain amount of income. 

You may or may not have the capacity to achieve or have what you deserve, but you still need to include them in your year goals. You need to write them down and think of how you can accomplish them. 

It is important to note that what you need and what you deserve are closely related, but what you need is more important.  

3. Things that you desire or want. These are things you like to have or do. But not having them will not affect your life. You may feel bad for not having your desires or wants, but it would not cost you your life, functionality, or progress if you do not achieve them. Examples of desires may be buying a new car, buying a big house, using a smartphone, or visiting a friend. 

These are the things you need to set as your second group of goals. Should include them in your goals for the year and plan for two to achieve them. 

Conclusion. If you can identify what you need, what you deserve, and what you want, those are the lists of goals you can set for yourself this year. Get your writing materials and write down those things. Organize them according to their importance. Think about what you can do to achieve them and also write down your ideas. Put those ideas into action and you will see yourself achieving those things one by one during the year. It is important to note that you don't have to set your goals to the level of your capability, you should set your goals and then increase your capability to the level of your goals. Then you will be able to achieve great goals. 

Afraid of getting married? Avoid 10 Costly Mistakes That Cause Headaches in Most Marriages

            Imagine yourself experiencing the kind of marriage where you are appreciated, treated with respect and love, and where you are understood and prioritized. Close your eyes and see yourself getting excited to lie side by side with your partner in your master bedroom gisting about your day. You can experience these marriage realities if you can avoid some mistakes most people do while going into marriage. These common mistakes are described below: 

1. Don't rush to marry. If you rush into a marriage, be ready for the surprise of your life. When you rush into marrying someone, you will not be able to properly know the character or behaviors of the person you are marrying. You may be surprised to find out that your partner is a liar, drunker, smoker, partygoer, or lazy person after marriage. Save yourself from this trouble by taking your time to understand your potential wife or husband-to-be before you get married.

2. People don't change in marriage. Please don't marry someone you don't like his or her character. Never marry someone thinking that he or she will change after marriage. The truth is that people often don't change their character after marriage. This means that an angry person, a liar, a smoker, a lazy, a drunker, or a disorganized person before marriage often maintains their character after marriage. If you dislike or are always annoyed by the behaviors of your partner-to-be, it is better you don't marry the person to save yourself from an unending annoyance in marriage. 

3. Don't marry an unfriendly person. Don't marry an unfriendly person. If you always beg for the friendship or attention of the person you want to marry, you would ultimately beg for the friendship of the person after marriage if you happen to marry the person. To save yourself from this trouble, please marry someone that is naturally friendly, gives attention, or is attracted to you. 

4. Don't marry someone who doesn't freely speak to you. Don't marry someone if you have to pressurize him or her before speaking or dialoguing with you, or someone who gets angry every time you ask questions about his or her actions or whereabouts. This is a sign that the person may be keeping secrets from you, he or she is not really interested in you but in what you have, and he or she would keep things from you after you married. You might end up looking for someone else to talk with after you get married to such a person.

5. Don't marry a person with a superior or inferior lifestyle to yours. Don't marry someone with primitive ways, different social lifestyles, or mindsets to yours. If you love someone but the person's ways of thinking or doing things are better or inferior to yours, except you are willing to adapt to that way of thinking or lifestyle don't marry the person. The person may never change his or her ways of life or thinking after marriage, and you may end up hating yourself, feeling superior or inferior, or getting angry at your partner's behaviors every time. 

6. Don't marry a rich person if you are poor or a poor person if you are rich. Don't marry a poor person if you're rich. Don't marry a rich person if you are poor. Most times it is people's habits or their ways of life that make them poor or rich. If you are a rich person and you end up marrying a poor person, that may mean you have married someone with a poor way of life. Since people hardly change in marriage, this may make you continue to be irritated or always feel angry at the person you marry. The same goes for a poor person that married a rich person. The poor person will never understand why the rich partner does many things that he or she does. And the poor partner may feel abandoned or criticized by the rich partner.  

7. Don't marry an educated person if you don't want to be educated. Don't marry an educated person if you're not willing and ready to learn from your partner, or enroll in school to upgrade your education. The level of education of people often affects the ways they see and interpret things around them. When an educated person married a lowly educated or uneducated person, both partners may see things differently and argue a lot except they are willing to compromise their stands. 

8. Don't marry a city or village (country) person if you are not ready to adapt to the person's lifestyle. It is difficult for someone who has lived in the city or village all or most of their life to adapt or change their lifestyles or behaviors from a village lifestyle to that of a city lifestyle or vice versa. When such people (with opposites lifestyles) married each other, they may continue to strive against each other's lifestyles when they started living together under the same roof. 

9. Don't marry a hygienic person if you have a low standard for being clean. Cleanliness is a very sensitive topic for some people in certain professions like medical doctors, microbiologists, environmentalists, or health practitioners who understand how many unseen microorganisms or pollutants that accumulate in a dirty place can cause diseases and make people sick. If a person who doesn't fancy hygiene marries a clean person, except the person is ready to adapt, it may result in unnecessary headaches after marriage. 

10. Don't marry a disorganized person if you are organized. Falling in love is easy, but staying in love may be very difficult, especially when you are organized but you married a disorganized person without good character. Some people don't care about how things lie down everywhere in their house, whereas for an organized person, it is very important that things are sorted out and tidied up in their places. When a disorganized person that is not willing to adapt or change their ways married an organized individual, the organized person may become wearied from having to always return things to their original places after the disorganized partner had disorganized things. The disorganized partner might become feel critical following recurrent corrections or criticisms from the organized partner. 

Conclusion. There is no perfect marriage. A perfect marriage consists of two imperfect persons (a man and a woman) who have agreed to marry each other and live together for life with love, care, and respect. However, extreme differences between a man and woman that are not critically addressed before marriage are what result in issues that ultimately dissolve many marriages today. By critically considering the insights shared in this article, young persons aspiring to marry can avoid or reduce the possibilities of such marriage-dissolving issues to enjoy their desired marriage. 

The Secrets: A Book Recommendation


I recommend this book: The Secrets To Scoring High Marks in UTME, to current and recently graduated secondary school students that are planning to write JAMB/UTME to gain admission into universities in Nigeria. 

The book is authored by Tosin Gbodope, one of my mentees that is very well-qualified to write this kind of instructional book on UTME.  

Tosin has a Bachelor's Degree in Education (Biology) from the prestigious Obafemi Awolowo University, and currently studying Medicine and Surgery at Niger Delta University, Wilberforce Island, Bayelsa State in Nigeria. 

When Tosin was in secondary school, He was selected among the Senior Prefects of his secondary school, being one of the best students in his set, and he was the overall best student while he was in primary school. 

Tosin has written UTME five times and scored about 250 each time. This book is a product of his experiences: what he has learned, and a summary of the strategies he used to accomplish success in UTME. 

Tosin believes he's offering readers "incredible secrets that genius used in blasting UTME",  and the book will make readers operate at a higher level if they applied the content to prepare for the UTME exam.

I encourage every parent, uncle, aunt, brother, and sister to purchase this ebook for their young folks that wish to score high in the almighty UTME to secure admission into the desired university in Nigeria. The book will teach them step-by-step how to prepare well for the exam and succeed. 

Click the link HERE to purchase and download the ebook for just $1.31 per copy.



Happy 36th Birthday To Me

I'm 36 this year. If you know my story, you would know why I come to grow some grey hairs at 36.

Even still, I must thank God. Despite the rough ride life took me through from childhood, God enabled me to attain the highest formal education possible by 36 and allows me to live my dream life.

Who could have imagined that a child who lost both parents as early as 3yrs old can still become a doctor - Ph.D. holder at 36?

Again I thank God who gave me the mindset and grace to pursue greatness despite the life hurdles. I also thank my siblings who never abandoned me when there was nobody to help and when I was too young to make the right decisions for myself.  I thank family and friends, mentors, and cheerleaders who supported me as I journeyed to stardom.

I must also thank my beloved wife for her belief and supports for me. The last six years have been very demanding on me, but with her support and prayers, I didn't feel the heat. I scaled through the journey with a lot of smiles on my face.

The Bible says "no man can receive anything on earth unless it's given from above". 

People, it's God all the way. If you feel discouraged anytime, you can reach out to me. I will tell you the secrets to my staying shoulder-up and smiling. The secret is God. The Bible says,

"seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and every other thing shall be added unto you".

Never give up. Focus on your dream and wait on God for help. You will live your dream.

Happy Birthday to Dr. Rufus J. Akinrinlola.

Are You a Common Christian ? (4 Minutes Read)

Don't be a COMMON CHRISTIAN. A COMMON CHRISTIAN is a Christian who, like Demas, gives no priority to the words and things of the Lord, therefore forsaken the Lord (2Tim 4:10).  A COMMON CHRISTIAN is like Judas, who will trade eternal treasures for temporal pleasures like thirty pieces of silver (Luke 22:4).  A COMMON CHRISTIAN is also like that third man in the parable of five talents, who does not know the value of the talent given to him by his master and so buries it (Matt 25:14-30).

We are not called to be a COMMON CHRISTIAN, because in the end there will be no room for the COMMON CHRISTIAN when the Lord returns. A COMMON CHRISTIAN is like a wasted vessel.

The Lord says, "He that will come after me must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me." (Luke 9:23). We are supposed to deny ourselves - appetites, reluctances, and carnalities - and follow the Lord whenever he calls us because nothing can compare in value to obeying the Lord. When it comes to denying oneself to obey the Lord, a COMMON CHRISTIAN will not do that.

The Lord says, "if you love me keep my commandments." (John 14:15). Our obedience to the Lord's commandments, especially those that are related to helping others, is a prove of our faith, love, and thanks to the Lord. It is proof that we are not a COMMON CHRISTIAN who will obey the Lord only when it is easy to do so or for immediate personal gain.

The Word of God also says "Whosoever will be a friend of the world is an enemy of God." (James 4:4). A true friend will never leave or deny his friend. Only COMMON CHRISTIAN claims to be a friend of the Lord and still be ashamed of standing for the Lord in the public. The Lord said, "whosoever shall be ashamed of Me and My words, of him, shall the Son of Man be ashamed when He shall come in His glory and in His Father’s and of the holy angels." (Luke 9:26).

We are not called to be a COMMON CHRISTIAN who will only speak for or follow the Lord only when it is acceptable or easy to do so. Rather, we are called to be true disciples, UNCOMMON CHRISTIANS, who obey the Lord at all times.

"Then said Jesus to those Jews who believed in Him, “If ye continue in My Word, then are ye My disciples indeed." John 8: 31

 

Five Most Desired Soft Skills by Employers

Soft skills are the skills that make you fit into a workplace. With these skills, you will fit in and succeed at your job place. But without the skills, you may have to move from one workplace to another, trying to fit in. Five of these skills are explained in this short article. 

1. Sociability

This is your ability to understand and relate with people. It also connotes your ability to be friendly, adapt, and share the feelings of others.

2. Self-management. 
This is your being able to understand and take control of yourself. It involves self-discovery and mastery. It also includes setting and working on your goals. It includes your ability to monitor your (work or life) progress and takes appropriate actions where needed.

3. Team membership 
This your ability to actively, cooperatively, and progressively participate as a member of a team. It means you will always contribute to your group effort. You see your group's success or failure is your own success or failure. You are not just working to succeed alone, you are working to ensure that your group members all succeed as well. You are always ready to support a group member when needed.

4. Leadership
This is your ability to see things differently and responsibly communicate what you see for others to understand. It involves being able to justify your points, persuade, and convince others to see your points. It also means you are able to devise a new way, which may be different from what others are accustomed to. It means you are able to stand alone for the course you believe.

5. Inclusive and diversity 
This means you are good at getting along with everyone - all types of people and characters. It means you work well with men and women of diverse backgrounds. You treat everybody without prejudice.

These attributes, combined with your technical skills, could set you apart and make you successful if you portray them in your workplace and life. 

3 Proven Steps to Manage your Money and Quickly Build Wealth

Poverty is the problem, but wealth is the solution. There is plenty of poverty in our world today because most people don’t know how to create wealth. This article is written for you if you are looking for ways to create genuine wealth and build a great future for yourself. 

There are three basic but proven steps to creating wealth. These include (1) Get a source of income, (2) Save part of your income (3) Invest a part of your saved income. These steps can make you rich as further explained below.

 

1. Get a source of income.

To create wealth, first, you need to have money, and to have the money you need to provide a service or sell something. This means you need a source of regular income. Once you get a regular inflow of money, then you can proceed to the next step. You can get a regular income via any of the followings;

  • Get a job: Job is the work that someone does to earn an income. Depending on your education, qualifications, talents, or energy, there are different types of jobs you can get. You can work as a cleaner, salesperson, teacher, etc. 
  • Involve in trading: Trading is buying and selling. To get income by trading, you can buy useful items at cheap prices and sell them at fairly high prices to make some profits. 
  • Provide a service: Service is something that the society needs such as transports, fashion, teaching, etc. You can learn of any service you like, get a license for it, and get a place to provide the service for money. 

Once you have found a legal way to make money, either through a job, trading or by providing service, the next step is to gather your wealth. 

 

2. Regularly save a part of your income

The second step in wealth creation is to gather the capital you need to create wealth. This involves a very simple but difficult habit of saving a part of your income. To do this, you will save at least 10% of every income you get every time you get it. This savings is a must and is not for you to spend or use for anything. But it is for you to keep. It is the money you KEEP TO CREATE YOUR WEALTH. It is your financial asset. Your goal is not to spend it to increase it. 

Many people are in poverty not because they don't have a regular income but because they don't save part of their income for wealth creation. 

Imagine, let's say you save $200 every month, that would be $2,400 (12X$200) in 12 months, $4,800 in 24 months.......$12,000 in 60 months etc. 

And you can always increase your monthly savings depending on your monthly income. The joy is that the more you save, the better you will feel, and the more sense of peace and happiness you will enjoy. This is because you will see your financial strength increasing each month. This is not yet your wealth, but it puts you in a position to build your wealth. Now you can go ahead to build your wealth.

 

3. Invest a part of your saved income

To build your wealth you need money, but not the money that you need for your daily life. You can only build wealth using the money you have kept for the purpose of wealth building.

So how do you build wealth? 

At times many people think they can build wealth just by working for money, whereas in fact, people can only build wealth by making money to work for them. 

 So to build your wealth, you will make part of your saved income to work for you to bring more money for you. This can be done by investing a part of your saved income in one or more of the following ways after adequate research and understanding of the potential risks and profits that may be involved.

  • Lend a business owner: You can lend your money to a successful business owner and get a certain commission with your money (i.e. 10% or as determined) at the end of an agreed time. In this way, instead of leaving your money in a bank account without any interest, your money can be generating additional income for you without you doing anything. 
  • Buy a share in the stock market: You can also put part of your savings to buy shares from the stock market from a successful company or funds you believe in. Usually, on a long-term basis, a share value can increase by 100 to 500%, especially if the company or fund is a successful one. 

For example, if you bought a share for $1000, and the share increased by 500% in two years.  Your money would have increased to $6000 within the two years. Meanwhile, that would not have happened if you had left your money in a bank or if you had no money to invest. In the stock market, you can buy and sell as many shares as you want at any time. 

  • Buy and sell land: You can also use part of your savings to buy land near cities and sell the land in the near future when the price would have increased. The more land you buy the higher the profit you will make, and the wealthier you will become. 
  • Invest in business opportunity: You can invest in a business opportunity such as agriculture production, farm produce sales, or buying and selling of any profitable commodities, which would not require too much of your personal time. You can also hire a personal assistant or manager to manage the business for you with proper record keeping and accountability. 

 

Wealth creation is possible for you. All you need to do to create wealth is to do what other people have done to create their wealth. These are the things described in this article. Although these are the basics, you can begin your journey of wealth creation from here and learn your way up from other sources. 

There are many books, websites, YouTube videos, or podcasts that are based on money management and wealth creation. You should also use them as other sources to learn more about wealth creation.

I believe you will achieve your goal of wealth creation and build a great life for yourself if you persist.

Rufus J. Akinrinlola, MSc. 

 

A question for readers:

What other way do you think or know that people can create wealth? Comment your answer below to benefit others.


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